Just Take a Break Already

It's been one of those days at work today. It's even steadily drizzling after two days of glorious sunshine.

Imagine: My coworker is playing back a customer complaint voicemail on her speaker phone and it began with, "UM, YES" and all three of us died laughing in our separate offices. Because laughing is better than crying.

Because it's just been one of those days.

It didn't start off that way -- at least not for me. My loving husband did the dishes last night while I rocked the baby to sleep just so I wouldn't have to do them before leaving for work this morning. I know he was exhausted from the last several days of twelve hour shifts and road calls in the middle of the night.

Because he so lovingly did the dishes, I used the time I would have spent washing them this morning, arranging a vase of flowers I bought yesterday.

I know -- not the most fabulous arrangement. But I'm learning. Look, a week ago there were no flowers on that mantel, so any flowers -- however arranged -- are considered an improvement. So there.

Which made me happy. And it seems like lately, very few things do.

My life could be summed up within a word right now: stressed. Or maybe exhausted? Busy? Unceasingly.

One of my very pregnant friends bemoaned on social media today the fact that she (has been) on bedrest and it's driving her crazy. While I do understand where she is coming from (my husband exasperatingly pokes fun at me all the time for not slowing down and taking "me time" because it'll drive me crazy if I have stuff that needs doing) -- ENJOY IT, MAMA was what I commented. I always hate being the bearer of bad tidings, but my tagline was "You will honest-to-God NEVER see another free minute in your life for the next 20 years." And that makes me want to cry at the same time I have to rejoice for the busyness.

I have had seasons in my life (summers off from college, anyone?) where I was totally an ace at staying in bed, binge-watching Netflix all day with a jar of nutella. In general, though, I am someone who must remain busy. Nevermind, idle hands are the devil's workshop, right?

But being a mom -- forget being married and working a job, too -- has really opened my eyes to the importance of balance and priorities.
My husband is not wrong when he pleads with me to take at least a minute to just BREATHE. Because you know something I've reflected on and learned excessively, especially since adding a member to our little family? It's that it takes a lot to stress me out, but I have a LOAD to stress me out every single day. And that's honestly not going to change -- at least, not any time soon. (*Cue the tears of exhaustion and hopelessness.) But that's just the way this path of life is -- any mom can attest to that. And you know what? I may not have seen it coming, but this is the path of life God chose to set me one for whatever purpose. It's time to accept that. But what's most important to note here is that the stress (at least, for me) leads majorly to anger, short fuses, impatience, and major depression -- which I then take out on my family.

My point is: yes, we strive to be SuperMom/SuperWife and get it all done; but let's face it: it really is impossible. (It's ok, you can cry; just come to terms with it, as well.) ESPECIALLY if your husband is noticing enough to say something to you about taking some you-time, you better listen; because it's not like they notice much as it is, amirite? ;)

Just as you make it a point to get those dishes washed, dinner in the oven before hubby gets home, or the laundry completed in one day (HA!) -- make it a POINT to take an hour out of the day to read or paint or play music or sit on your porch or work in your garden -- whatever, just something you enjoy doing simply because you enjoy doing it. Not because it is pressing or somebody else is screaming that they need you to do it -- do something for you. Every day. Otherwise you may find yourself taking out your stress and exhaustion on those you love most, possibly driving them away, which is never worth anything. Not even a load of laundry.

Just try to keep it in perspective, friends. It's a hardknock life, for sure; but it could always be worse. The dishes are not more important than your family's peace of mind. And we all know: if mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy. Everybody ends up being on edge -- don't put them there with a knife to their back simply because you don't know how to take a break.

Update Time -- Two major life changes

Ok, update time! (Super duper long over due and I apologize for that.)

We moved!
Two weeks ago, in fact. (I know, I know -- how does that make up for eight months of hiatus? Well, it just does, ok?)
Love, love, LOVE our new house (new to us). We are renting and you know what they say: location, location, location. My parents (Katie's daycare) are only 20 minutes from our new home, roughly 25 from where I work. (Sadly, we are now 45 minutes from Jacob's job; and now HE'S the one who has to drive through "city" traffic. But he doesn't drive to work during rush hour, so I digress.)
MY TRIP TO ANYWHERE IS ALL FOUR LANE HIGHWAY. IT'S FREAKING FANTASTIC.
We have a bigger, flatter yard, which is great because not only do we love the outdoors, but our very generous landlords have allowed us to bring our furry kids with us. More shade trees (I am completely enchanted with the pine forest surrounding the house). A shop for Jacob's toys (YES PLEASE). Carpet AND hardwood floors. WINDOWS EVERYWHERE. ALL THE SUNSHINE. I now have a for-real front porch that I can brag about in conversation and decorate and sit on to catch the warm rays of the sun or rock my baby to sleep to the rhythm of the falling rain. Our neighbors are fantastic -- older couple with a cow farm owned for generations. They go to the church that I wanted to try across the road, so happy for a friendly face whenever we get the chance to pop on over. Their grandkids are our other closest neighbors and they're our age and are expecting a baby next month. (Hooray for young friends in our stage of life!)
And that brings me to the last perk I'll mention (for now): this house has three bedrooms, of which we are now in need because....

.... Baby #2 is coming in November!!
(No, we've never done this before; why do you ask?)
Due Date is November 13th -- Katie Jo's first birthday is November 19th. #ohdeer
Gender reveal ultrasound is scheduled for Tuesday (6.20.2017) afternoon. We had an ultrasound done about a month ago to determine how far along I really was when we found out we were expecting again. Apparently far enough along for me to put my money on our first son. ;) Whenever I refer to Mason protesting his older sister's bedtime tantrums and dances on my tummy, Jacob sternly reminds me, "OR Madison." He's right -- we'll see on Tuesday that I was really right all along. As usual. ;)

Something else to note about the new house is that we have internet, and boy is it fast; thus I am hoping to get back into the blogosphere for real. I guess we'll see how that goes -- but I'm hoping for at least better than once a year for goodness' sake. I'm learning to try and slow down and take some breathing time, so maybe that will help.

If they're reading this: thank you to our generous land lords whom I have grown up with and are like another set of parents to me. To their kids who are still some of my best friends: Thank you, too. I hope it eases some of the pain of giving up your childhood home to know that my babies will learn to crawl and walk on the carpet in your bedrooms. Just this week Katie got up on her hands and knees and tried to take her first crawling step in your old room, Livy; and I wished you could have been there to see it. She was so proud. Who would have thought that my kids would play under those pine trees when they were massively tall, when we watched them get put in the ground while we were playing pioneers with our American Girl Dolls? Thank you for this blessing of an opportunity.

Ok, that's enough sap and enough update -- for now. Stay tuned for more posts in the (hopefully) near future!