Sam and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (and pictures that don't match)

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses."

- Psalm 25:16-17

Hey y'all.

Yesterday was hard.

Very, very hard.

To keep it short and sweet (lol):
I went to bed in a foul mood, and thus did not sleep, and thus woke much the same. (Poor, Jacob.)
Because Husband was off from work, our regular routine was thrown off kilter. I don't do well with having 0 control.
A long sob-story short: we need a family vehicle asap (38 weeks of pregnancy, people) and we thought we at last found the answer after searching out wisdom and waiting on the Lord; but we were frustrated in our attempts.
So there was mood-tipper #204 of my morning.

Consequently, we drove to the location of another lead on a minivan (kind of out of the way); but it was nowhere to be seen and the shop was closed.
Whatever.
So we decided to keep trucking on into town for lunch at one of my husband's favorite burger joints
where Katie proceeded to give us an introductory course on why you don't skip morning nap and then bring your toddler out in public.
In a word: what a nightmare. 
The food finally arrived and, in an attempt to get her to stop. complaining. I immediately spooned some of my mashed potatoes into her mouth.

I'm pretty sure our kid is never going to be able to taste any food ever again and it's all my fault.

Not even water could calm her down; so I rushed her out the door and eventually across the street to an antiques mall while Jacob (I thought) was finishing his meal.
We came back shortly only to leave again as Katie was turning into quite the basket case about wanting to eat while she was eating. Kid logic, anybody?
I thrust her into the car and we drove down the road a bit while Jacob packed up the mostly uneaten food and paid the check.
She was asleep within seconds.

I'm not sure why, but this Chinese fan is her favorite toy on the porch at her grandmother's house.

Lesson #25 of the day: Don't skip morning nap.

The rest of the day proceeded to go about as well as the morning, and by the end of it we were all starting to fall apart.

(The evening proceeded with one false alarm of the smoke detector, one phone call from work, and much restlessness from my parents' dog -- we're house sitting for them again this weekend.)

Needless to say, none of the pictures are from yesterday; and I certainly did not feel like getting up and communing with the Lord this morning when I finally decided I wasn't going to get anymore sleep.
I mean, I lost my temper sooooooo many times yesterday, I was sulky and hardly spoke a word that wasn't harsh all day, I burned the mess out of my kid's esophagus, I wasted soooo much gas driving around trying to come up with some form of sanity, and I constantly was looking for someone else to blame for my ill-temper (pregnancy takes too long).

But I did. I got up and made tea and had pumpkin bread and opened my Bible to my daily Psalm, which was Psalm 25 and possibly my new favorite.

It spoke to every part of me, everything that was all wrong.

Can one psalm do that?

In this one psalm, there are words about waiting on the Lord for wisdom and direction, words expressing how alone and "worried about many things" I feel, words reminding me the Lord is gracious and compassionate and merciful, as well as words to help me talk about my sin with God.

I would have so many quotes in this blog post from this one psalm; so you really just need to read it for yourself.

"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul." (v1)

My weary, troubled, lonely, discouraged, sorry, imperfect soul -- I lift it up to You, God. 

Because I don't know where else to find rest.

A Day in the Kitchen and Katie's First Fall Festival

So my Wednesday was pretty much spent in the kitchen -- but isn't that where women belong anyway?

Ha.

More accurately: I had just put Katie down for a successful morning nap. I was literally putting my feet up, sighing in contentment, and debating between reading my current novel or taking a muchly-needed nap myself, when I suddenly realized I quite honestly had no idea what Katie was supposed to eat for lunch. 

And lunch was merely an hour away at best when said munster awoke from her slumber (if, in fact, that was what she was doing. I'm honestly not sure what my kid does when I leave her room. Sometimes I return to find her stuffed animals having little meetings and she's sitting on the outside of their circle, nodding, and humming agreement on the debate at hand).

So homemade mac n cheese it twas.

Pumpkin bread was also developed,

in spite of my apparently pumpkin-hating husband.

Alas, I failed to remember my recipe yields two loaves, which, just like the pie, Katie and I should not attempt to eat alone. (If only there were a third person in our household who would help us to eat all the pumpkin yummy-goodness...)
So we proceeded to wrap up the second loaf and bring it to my parents' farm the following afternoon to take with them on their weekend spent out of town at a Reformation Conference. (We are house sitting for them again.)

Literally the best pumpkin bread I've ever had -- moist and sweet and practically perfect in every way when butter is applied and warmed. 

*Note: Instead of using all the individual spices, I simply threw in some pumpkin spice.

But don't ask me how much I used.

It was a perfect autumn day for throwing wide the doors
and letting in some fresh air in a warm kitchen full of
fall baking.

Katie has been feeling under the weather with the change of the seasons the last couple of days (thanks for passing it on, kid). 

She's peculiar in that when she is most unwell, she is a perfect angel, not asking for much at all, with little cherub smiles to share with all. 

The following days of feeling better are when the devil horns start poking through (probably why her hair has been naturally stuck out in two tufts on the sides of her head...)

We were on Day 3 of such recovery with my constant prayer literally, "God, You are my strength -- BEEEEEEE my strength!" When my new friend-from-church Morgan texted me and invited us to our church's fall festival Wednesday evening.
We have not been able to attend church in a few weeks for numerous reasons, so I was unaware of the festival; nevertheless, I immediately confirmed Katie and I would be there, out of the house, socializing, and not murdering each other. (Jacob was scheduled to work 6am-11pm that day -- for the second day in a row.)

As soon as we stepped out of the car, Katie was utterly fascinated seeing all the kids in costumes. (There was one lobster that had her utterly transfixed.) 

Immediately upon entering the gymnasium, she tried to convince me she was big enough to go play in the bouncy castle. 

Sorry, darlin. Maybe next year, when I can bring your dad and sentence him for the evening. 

Morgan had the fantastic idea of distracting her with the game of "picking up ducks".

So cute.

Speaking of cute: Katie's friend Bailey (Morgan's precious 5 month old daughter) made the cutest Wonder Woman there.

"For There is None to Help"

This evening I thought to myself, "It might be time for bed when we've both cried through dinner and have no idea why we're laughing so hard ten minutes later in the bathtub."

Seriously though, y'all -- we're not always peas and carrots over here.

Just take a look at the white noise of basically my entire day:

Ugh. My quiet time this morning feels like a decade ago. 

My daily reading in the Psalms was the 22nd chapter. 

I sobbed over my morning tea as I read verses such as,

"Be not far from me, for trouble is near;

For there is none to help." (v11)

"I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint;

My heart is like wax; it is melted within me." (v14)

"My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue cleaves to my jaws..." 

(v15)

If these words don't perfectly describe how I feel lately.
Especially the part about there being none to help. With Jacob working so many hours, I am literally single-parenting this hot mess on top of being 37 weeks pregnant and it is not fun.

"But You, O Lord, be not far off; 

O You my help, hasten to my assistance." (v19)

But guess what other things are said here?

"In You our fathers trusted; they trusted and You delivered them.

To You they cried out and were delivered; in You they trusted and were not disappointed." (vv4-5)

"...He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted;

Nor has He hidden His face from him;

"But when he cried to Him for help, He heard." (V24)

During said bath time, I was reaching my breaking point.

So I brought my Bible to the side of the tub, flipped it back open to the passage from this morning -- but before I could read the first words again ("My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?") Katie dumped *1/4 cup of water over the side of the tub and onto the pages.

I was definitely ready to throw in the towel then. (The towel, the rug, the toilet paper -- you get the idea. Might as well just soak it all if I can't even read my Bible in times of trouble like a good Christian.)

*Side note: I know it was 1/4 cup of water because *cough* somebody *cough* had given her my measuring cup from the kitchen and it has become her favorite bath toy. 

(Ok, it was me.)

But God never throws in the towel on me. 

Just like my daughter, I cry over spilled milk (or, in her case, the lack thereof); and yet, He still hears me when I cry. He still comforts me. He still delivers me.

In fact, those very words that begin this Psalm are familiar to us in another passage of Scripture: when Jesus was giving up His life for mine on the cross. 

Parents suffer for their children.

Christ suffered for me.

For this reason I can obey the command in v23:

"You who fear the Lord, praise Him;

All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him, and stand in awe of Him, all you descendants of Israel."

After said bath time. What a goober.

"The afflicted will eat and be satisfied;

Those who seek Him will praise the Lord.

Let your heart live forever!" (v26)

My "Weekend" in Pictures

 So this picture is documentation of my third attempt at tea in the last 24 hours. Two bedtime teas and one energy tea down the drain -- because when you're buying coffee for the coffee drinkers and you see tea that advertises to induce energy or sleep YOU BUY IT. (And I can attest at least the bedtime tea works amazingly.)

Speaking of energy -- confession time:

I just want you guys to know my house is a complete mess right now, but I've decided I don't care for tonight and that alone makes me want to scream.

This past weekend we were house sitting for my parents who went on their annual homeschool camping trip in the neighboring county -- which I now live in, go figure. As I am 8 months pregnant and have an almost-one-year-old, I was banned from camping with them (and running the annual 5k and playing a whole weekend of volleyball, etc, etc. Basically all the fun stuff. Bahumbug.).

But it meant I got to spend some down time with our old family dog and my first baby boy, Joey Joey, who does, in fact, miss me very much.

We brought Lexi along, of course, and Maggie had loads
of fun being "territorial". 

Even though Jacob had to work long hours, I had
plenty of help with the chores. ;)

Teaching her to adore the smell of fresh grain at
an early age.

I also managed to make my first-ever batch of rice crispie treats. (ya know, since Jacob apparently hates pumpkin...) Alas -- they disappeared faster than I could get that protocol "pretty" picture of them all cut up and looking scrumptious on a platter. 

Glad to know they were tasty, though. 

Jacob surprised us when he came home on Friday evening announcing he was able to take off the next two days (thank you, Cozy). We enjoyed every minute of it; until we learned that his great-grandfather passed away suddenly of a heart attack this weekend.

Thus we spent most of today at an unexpected funeral. 

It is here I would like to note what an amazing, strong, tight-knit family I married into. I truly love them all to the moon and back, as they have done nothing but make me feel completely welcome. 

Though I never was able to meet Mr. Bob on this earth, from the stories I heard today and the pictures I perused, I can honestly say I can't wait to meet him another day. Makes me regret even more not resting up during Thanksgiving after having Katie last year in order that we may have been able to attend the family Christmas party where I would have been able to meet him and his wife, Willa. 

Not pictured from this weekend: 

1. I also made my first-ever chicken and dumplings. (I mean, I live in the South -- it was about dang time, right?) And though it disappeared almost as fast as the rice crispie treats, it was even less pretty as it gave the main culprit (Katie Jo) some *cough* unpleasant diapers *cough*.

2. Another first-ever this weekend would have been the big clothes-purchase we made in a new suit we bought for Jacob to be a pallbearer at his great-grandfather's funeral. I was so proud of him and he really was the most handsome man ever.

3. Contractions that kept us both up until around 2am last night. They were intense, but not regular enough to warrant a trip to town. I know we're now 37 weeks (tomorrow), but I'm really aiming to carry this little guy to full term (not only is Jacob's work schedule not convenient, but my house is a wreck). Lord, help me.

And finally, we shall feature a snapshot of the chair in our bedroom because I feel like it sums things up pretty well. 

My husband makes fun/marvels at how many books I usually have going at one time. (Next to my chair in the living room are "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst, the Jesus Storybook Bible, a book on interior design according to literature, and my journal.)

I'm pretty sure Curious George is taking me the longest to finish.

Just kidding. Just seeing if you were still paying attention. ;)

FYI: I actually just finished my bedtime tea. Ahhhhhhh...........

Who Hates Pumpkin??

Here is my obligatory picture of some bread I made the other evening. 

Because I'm a homemaker now and that's apparently what we do: we make food from scratch and then we share *pretty* pictures of it. 

In reality we're just on an extremely tight budget and I love the smell of fresh bread wafting throughout my house. 

Nevermind Hubby apparently loves homemade bread as nearly the entire loaf will utterly disappear within an hour of him walking in the door in the evening.

(Yes, I understand protocol requires a picture of the bread sliced very neatly; but eh -- it was already pushing 8 o'clock and I was ready to clock out for the day. So, this is as good as it's gonna get.)

In the name of fall (it is halfway through October already -- yikes!) I took that $5 I saved on bread so far this month and bought a couple cans of pumpkin and -- voila!

My first-ever pumpkin pie!

(Not one word about my faulty crust. I had no idea that was the hard part.)

As I'm pulling the pie out of the oven I suddenly remember a conversation Hubby and I had last fall when I made my favorite pumpkin bread:

*Bouncing him out of bed bright and early* "I made pumpkin bread for breakfast! Surprise!! I'm such a good wife."

"I hate pumpkin."

..................................killjoy.

I have to watch my sugar intake when I'm pregnant, and Mason is no exception so far (BOY, is he no exception!). I was about to despair at wasted pumpkin, envisioning the mold growing on my pie within a few days as I should obviously not eat an entire pumpkin pie (and gallon of vanilla ice cream) by myself -- until I remembered I was taking dinner to some new friends who very recently welcomed their first child into the world. I sent a quick text their way, asking if they liked pumpkin. (Because apparently the love of all things pumpkin is not universal. Thank you, husband, for educating me so bluntly.)

My friend soon responded with the fact her husband would eat anything (you would think that would be universal as well -- husbands that eat anything); but she herself had never actually had pumpkin pie.

Talk about pressure. And did you even see that crust?

Nevertheless, later that evening as Katie and I were packing up the dinner box to take on over, I closed my eyes and served up two pieces to be taken anyway.

Anna, I'm sorry if I've ruined your first pumpkin pie experience. Please don't define your taste according to my first-ever pie. Extend some grace -- I'm only learning.

Cody, I'm sorry if I poisoned you.

Hubby, I can't believe you go so far as to hate pumpkin. What kind of monster are you? Killjoy.

Just fyi: Katie approves. Especially of the accompanying ice cream.

Glad to know I'm not going to be the only pumpkin-lover in the house.

Morning Meditation: A Call to Intentional Praise

Good morning y'all,

Above is a picture of my cozy place. If it's too chilly or humid to be out on my porch with my Bible, peanut butter toast and tea, then this is my next go-to and my favorite spot in the living room.
[Speaking of bargain finds from the last post: that extending floor lamp cost me only $5. Take that, mocking husband.]
[The side table was left in the house by our landlord and both chairs were unwanted by grandparents. Can you say blessed?]

So I've been reading a Psalm a day and then reading through the Gospels as they correspond to each other.

This morning I was to read Psalm 18. And boy is it long-winded. (Sorry, David.) And boy does it have a lot of man-terms talking about battles and war against enemies and "the Lord is my strength against my enemies". It's kind of hard to not just breeze through it. Especially when it's early in the morning and I'm tired and have a hard time keeping my mind from wandering.
So I took a few minutes (that ended up being my entire quiet hour) to let this psalm steep in my lap and in my mind.

What can I learn about God's character from this testimony of praise?

Well, basically the reason it's so long-winded is because it's describing certain tasks and scenarios and afflictions that seemed impossible and super daunting -- but God accomplished victory in His own strength (and timing).

So God makes impossible things possible.

But of course He can -- He has power over all things, which we see here.

I also see the Lord being our strength as an obvious sign that the Lord is with us from day-to-day. He sees His people. He is an active, personal God. He is willing to fight on our behalf.

Not only is He our strength, but He can also be our safe-haven, our refuge, our place of rest.
I like verse 16 here:

"He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters."

Many waters makes me think of drowning and that panicky, helpless feeling that comes with it. How many times have I or do I feel like I am drowning? Yet He wants to pluck me out of that situation and feeling and give me peace and rest. He is my refuge; the rock on which I climb upon and stand above all those drowning waters.

And through this action, I see He is (again) a compassionate God.

David goes on to say that these victories are rewards according to his righteousness and standing before God. This tells me I can always count on God to be my strength, my deliverer, my refuge, my fortress because I, too, stand before Him righteous and blameless in the name of Jesus. That status never changes, so I can count on reaping the rewards and blessings of God's mighty help.

Finally, I can't help but notice this long-winded, beautifully eloquent psalm of praise to our God: David -- a very busy king -- took a lot of time out of his day(s) and made it a point to compose these psalms -- so many of these psalms! He made it a priority to spend purposeful, intentional time praising God for what He's done and Who He is. 

And I am slammed with the realization that this kind of long-winded, intentional praise is totally lacking in my own life. 

And He is not any less worthy of such praise today.

This psalm starts with the words "I love you, Lord." 

It's ok to tell God (our Father) that we love Him. This is a form of praise and therefore worship. What parent doesn't want to hear "I love you" from their kid? I'm literally counting the days until I can hear Katie say those words to me.

It feels irreverent to me sometimes; but because of my standing in Christ as a blameless child of God, those feelings are a lie.

Maybe this is part of loving God with all our heart (soul, mind, and strength).

"The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made."

Psalm 145:9

First Month of Stay-At-Home-Mommying!

Hey y'all!

So obviously I've been lurking around here somewhere, sometime since the blog got a facelift. I rather like it (looking at it for the first time since the minute I spent putting it together like three months ago) -- what do y'all think?

Quick update: I am no longer working my part-time receptionist job. God has been good to provide for us (always) and as a result I am able to stay at home full time as a mommy. October 1st was my first day in this new venture (there have since been many tears of both joy and sorrow); hubby was intending for October (my last full month of current pregnancy) to be a month of rest and bonding with our oldest who is not yet 1.

Ha. Ha.

Though I have been trying to put my feet up as the "Dr" ordered (scout's honor), there have been plenty of projects needing completion before Little Man's arrival in November.

One such project was his nursery, which we had hardly even started brainstorming on. Oops.

But a couple of weekends ago we rolled up our sleeves and went to work on this important room in our house, before Hubby's schedule got super bogged down at work (he's the general manager at a brand new, just-opened-last-weekend full service shop for a major corporation of truck stops. woo!) (this has been nine months in the making, folks. just like this baby.)

Before said weekend of effort:

Have fun sleeping on that mess, Little Man.

Big Sister helping to hang the curtains.

After most of the work:

We got the tractor theme from my mom (can I get a "oh heck yeah" for free Pottery Barn?)
Hand-me-downs from Mason's uncle Micah -- who I will mention is only 8 years old. But I'm freakin
IN LOVE.

Mommy's little "helper" (more like she was being temporarily contained for her lack of professionalism in this setting up of Brother's nursery). (She figured out the sun on his mobile squeaks.)

Obviously there's a few finishing touches left to make. For example, there is obviously no need for three lamps in one kid's nursery. I'm just not settled on doubling the chest as a side table yet. I found a distressed (ok, more like scuffed up and battered) side table at my favorite flea market that will match perfectly. But even though it is only $10, I showed a picture to Hubby and he says it's more in distress and laughs at my choice. 

If he wants to see "in distress", he can just keep making fun of my bargain finds...