So a few things have happened since my last post.
Just a couple of days before National Dog Day last week, we had to make the difficult decision to put our puppy (and Katie's first playmate) down. Easily one of the hardest drives and decisions I have ever had to make in my entire life. I couldn't even afford the time to stay to be with her in her final moments.
The sitch was that she had been missing over the weekend and I found her late Monday evening upon arriving home from work and giving calling her name in our backyard one last shot. She answered and I followed the sound of her bark (and the other hound dog) to where she lay in the bushes at the edge of the yard. Her entire hind end was badly mangled and lifeless. We assume she was probably hit by a vehicle as we live on a very busy highway.
Jacob gently moved her to the front porch as soon as he got home; and for two days we fed her pain medication and worked our books to find any way that we could responsibly afford to help her. It was a very long and emotional two days, full of tear filled prayer; but in the end we decided the best and most responsible way for us to help her was to make the pain immediately go away.
I'll never forget the look she gave me as they carried her inside the vet clinic, bringing me my laundry basket and her collar just moments later.
I cried like a baby all the way home, fighting the urge to turn the car around as if I could somehow reverse the situation, and the only words I could find to repeat over and over were, "I'm so sorry, Riley."
But God's got this. He saw our massive pain during the two day decision making process; and He sees our pain as we miss her spunky presence each and every day. All I can do is run to Him for comfort when I hurt over such a sudden loss of such an innocent creature. All I can do is trust Him, even when I don't understand in the moment.
On a lighter note: Katie started crawling this week hardcore. And because she is my child, she is immediately pressing on to higher things (no time to waste) such as standing and even taking a few steps. (Be still, my heart.) Jacob and I are very proud, though not entirely ready for her to do such "big kid" things. But times are changing -- in just a couple of short months she will be moving over to become a big sister. Time sure does fly after you have that first baby!
Mason is healthy, though not entirely cooperative when we go to our Dr's appointments. At least Katie was active in the womb and HELPFUL while doing it. We'd get in, hear the heart beat, etc within seconds, and get out. Little brother, on the other hand, will turn somersaults all day, stretching out and demanding more room. Bring in a doppler of any kind, and he suddenly goes into hiding, moving each time we find him to where it takes literally 10 minutes to get a steady enough heartbeat to listen to. *facepalm* (Last time I actually sucked in a bunch of air to help inflate my tummy and then I held my breath until the nurse got a good read. And that was after literally 8 full minutes of attempting otherwise.)
I know these posts seem disengaged in a way compared to my blogs in the past; but the truth of the matter is that I am severely busy and exhausted -- especially as we get closer to Mason's arrival. But I will be quitting my job as a receptionist at the end of September and beginning my (Lord-willing) long time career of stay-at-home-mommyhood. I'm hoping to be able to carve out quality time to invest in this blog then.
Unfortunately this little snippet into our lives is all I can afford today.
Until next time.
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