Hey y’all,
I get just as annoyed with all the “essential oils” sales
pitches that are all over my Facebook feed as the next person does. I have been
almost completely turned off by the idea of even looking into their relevance
because of obnoxious sales gurus who send me all kinds of evites and
copy/pasted messages that they’re sending to all of their contacts, just trying
to get me to buy from them. Or at least, that’s how they come across. I get so
sick of it.
Then I met a new mom friend at an annual homeschool camp
that my folks have been attending for the last ten years. It happens in October
every year and it’s a weekend filled with fellowship of like-minded people –
swapping horrific stories about homeschooling their horrific children for the
moms, football for the dads (who all always have television sets and radios
tuned in, hooked to their campers on the outside so they can share the fun),
and game after game of volleyball for all of the kids, young and old. I even
got to play this year after sitting out the last two years, due to my condition
of being, how shall I say? As round as the volleyball itself and even more
ready to pop.
One of the biggest reasons I went to Dixon this year was to
meet a new mom friend that my Mom had told me about. She had four girls my kids’
ages and people were trying to talk her into coming, too.
“I commend her if she does, and I don’t blame her if she
doesn’t,” I told my mom with raised eyebrows. Thanks for destroying my ego as
SuperMom, Hope. 😉
Seriously, though. She came, we met, and we
hit it off. She told me she had just moved near my area and we swapped phone
numbers and promised to schedule a playdate asap. Of course I went home and
stalked her on Facebook.
“Oh no,” I said to Jacob beside me in bed. “She does the oils thing. I don’t
know if we can be friends.” (That’s how turned off I was to these kinds of
people. They can be so obnoxious.)
But this gal isn’t. She even invited me to a “make
and take” oils party that was geared up more so that we could spend some more
time together. I even went. And I even left Jacob home with the kids to do
bedtime without me and I even took my
mom. I didn’t want to be rude, and I was genuinely curious about these oils.
Especially if party food was involved.
She told us a little bit about how she got started on oils. (Her
dad is a doctor, actually.) She also told us a lot about why she had finally
decided on the company she buys her oils from and a lot about what kind of
company it was.
I won’t mention any names because I’m not trying to push a sale
or anything like that. But, y’all, she sold me. It wasn’t even about the oils;
I wanted to be involved in helping people’s lives for the better like this company
seems to do. The oils were just the bonus; and what a bonus they have been!
I saw a mom friend of mine recently send out a post on
Facebook about how defeated she feels in being a mom. She feels things like
anger, frustration, shame, guilt, stress overload, loneliness – I’m
paraphrasing here, but don’t we all feel the same as she does at one time or
another (or maybe all the time)? Even if you’re not a mom, these emotions may
be a huge part of your daily routine – maybe even a huge part of who you have
become. But they are not who you are. Especially if you are a Christian.
Read that last part again because it is so important. These (especially
the added problems of depression and anxiety) have been my faithful companions
for many years. I have always struggled. But one thing that always manages to
keep my head above the waves (check out the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United) is
to remember that these are normal feelings during the process of sanctification
– which is something I will be constantly struggling through until I reach
perfection in Heaven only. They are normal feelings, but they do not define who
I am. Who I am as a Christian woman is so much more powerful than those labels
I may tend to give myself and my days. I say they are normal, because if we
desire and strive to be better than we are, then it only makes sense that on
some days at least, we would be frustrated and even angry with not becoming that better person yet.
My God is not finished with me. I can see that almost
every second that I am a parent and my two toddlers are awake. I struggle
almost every minute of this journey, and the fight against those feelings seems overwhelming and too hard. But I have hope because I know
that I do not fight in vain. I have hope and forgiveness for myself each
morning because that’s when God has hope and forgiveness for me, too. (New
morning mercies, anyone?) Open your Bible – it is all about second chances. And
third ones, and tenth ones, and one-hundred-and-tenth-chances. How’s that for encouragement?
Lean on the Lord, lovely lady. He said to everyone who feels like they are
carrying a burden that just feels too heavy, to come and simply give it to Him.
He will carry it for you. Because He
cares about you. Read Hebrews: He is empathetic. Read the Psalms: He is near to
you. Read the Old Testament: He is a God of many chances. Read His Words: they
are only encouragement to the believer.
This is something He has been putting heavily on my heart
lately. On my chalkboard in my kitchen last week I had to write out, “Just like
divorce is not an option in my marriage, yelling is not an option in my parenting,”
to remind myself to speak softly; because Mason getting all four of his front
teeth at the same time that I’m
trying to potty train his older sister just seems unbearable as the daily routine/headache that it has all become.
(And don’t let anyone fool you: potty training is definitely worse than labor.)
Thus, the Lord introduced me to a new arsenal of weapons to have in my
inventory to fight against that old me that I struggle to put off and keep off.
The night of the make-and-take party we swiped a happy
rollerball on our wrists and made a couple of our choosing to take home with
us. (I have been struggling with insomnia for a few months now, so I made a
relaxation rollerball, and then went along with everyone’s choice of an
immunity-booster.) I walked in the door at home later that evening to an unhappy husband
who claimed to have been feeling sick all day and that the kids had been horrendous.
Normally, I would have made some unsympathetic comments along the lines of “welcome
to my world” or “of course you’re sick the one
night I would like to escape.” But I didn’t even have the desire. I was
strangely compassionate (ask my loved ones, they will tell you how terrible I
really am at that).
I had ordered a kit of oils complete with a diffuser at the
party to try them out for myself (and to begin investing our money in growing communities
around the world). When it arrived only a few short days later, I began reading
the book that came with it that explained the benefits of each oil. In the mean time, I had been
swiping away with the relaxation rollerball I made and had noticed a major
difference in my attitude. Then I read a little about the science behind
essential oils and it suddenly clicked for me: As someone who has rapid
misfires and balancing issues when it comes to hormones, if I could somehow chemically
change those hormones that are polluting my brain – kind of like hacking the
system – why wouldn’t I?? What if when I recognize that Monster Mommy is coming
out, especially over something insignificant – what if I diffused a
counteracting fragrance that were to deal a serious blow to the steam she was
picking up? I tried it. Over and over and over. It has worked wonders.
I was reading the Creation story to Mason the other night
before bed and was suddenly struck. God created every living plant, complete
with all of its current properties. We were instructed to cultivate the land
and its vegetation; and suddenly it made sense that these oils from these
plants were being such a helper to me in my desire to be better: they were
created by my loving God who helps me every day.
My point is, though, that it’s time to recognize what helps you
to become better than the person your emotions want you to be. Enough being
dragged down. Declare war on that old person and put them off, as the Bible
says, just as if you were taking off a coat and laying it aside.
For me, as a Christian woman, my helper is the Holy Spirit;
and He is using tools such as His Word (my Bible), these essential oils,
fellowship with like-minded women, and other things – like this podcast that my mom recommended to me. I’m addicted and I listen to it every time I head to
town thirty minutes away. It is such wonderful and sound teaching. I encourage
all women to listen to this podcast regularly.
But seriously, anything
will do. I sometimes tune in to encouraging music on my radio, or sing
encouraging songs that I know – I especially do this as two toddlers scream
over the top of me while they are taking a bath. I found singing such songs as “JesusDraw Me Ever Nearer” helps to keep me grounded when I must plow through with a
task, regardless of how my kids feel about it. Fun fact: I used to sing this
song while rocking Katie during a rough night. Sometimes I growled it,
sometimes I wept.
Sometimes having soft instrumental music playing in the
background of my home while I tend to chores and children helps to set the mood
of the house. Sometimes taking fifteen minutes to read an encouraging book or
blog post (or my Bible) while Katie is on the potty. I write uplifting phrases
on the menuboard in my kitchen regularly.
I diffuse lavender or citrus scents in my living room to help diffuse any negative emotion that I – or
even my kids – may unknowingly have lurking in the back of our mind. I use my manners
with my children because even that little thing helps to put me in a better
mood when “dealing with” them.
Mental health is just as important as your physical health -- it is a part of your physical health, because technically speaking, your brain is a muscle.
If you’re really struggling, sweet friend, then I strongly
advise you to find someone that you would feel comfortable talking to on a
regular basis. An accountability partner, of sorts. Taking care of yourself -- especially your mental health -- can have a major positive impact on your kids. Praying definitely helps
me, but sometimes I do need a little extra “kick in the pants” or encouragement.
That can come from someone that God has placed in our lives, though be
discerning who you choose.
My heart goes out to any hurting mamas, or anyone struggling
with such feelings in general.
Remember it’s a bad day, but never a bad life.
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